Today we lay to rest
One of the very best
A car, nay, a friend
Who was with me 'til the very end
Of the fall semester of senior year.
There was nary a car with a trunk
That could hold copious amounts of junk
Or steering that could turn on a dime
At least 30 percent of the time
You will be missed.
From your wide set eyes
To thighs that held no lies
With a pleather interior which absorbed the heat
And was sure to burn those who took a seat
Well, that may not be as missed.
You got me from point A to point B
Even when I wanted to go to point Z
With such a style that was all your own
You traveled across many time zones
And as such your clock was often wrong.
Short trips to NHS, OD, and VU
And long trips to LA, IL, and NYC too
You never complained when I pushed you too far
And far surpassed any sports car
Except for not having working interior lights, a broken gas gauge, a radio antenna that didn't retract, a small engine, tiny tires, belts that often came loose, etc.
You survived harsh winters and brutal summers
Despite that being kind of a bummer
You carried friends and enemies alike
But never could quite fit my bike
I figured you were just jealous.
So today you've reached your final destination
And I hope this has been a proper exaltation
Though you went by many names
Olds, T-Bone, Cutters, it's all the same
My friend and faithful partner, you will never be forgotten.
Thank you for your service.