Thursday: Battle On!

4 min read

Deviation Actions

Ayame-Kenoshi's avatar
By
Ayame-Kenoshi
Published:
5.6K Views


We're nearing the end of the month already! :wow: Time really flies.

This week, we're calling on all Premium Members who are also secret agents, especially trained in various combat styles. We have a special assignment for you! :ninja:

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to defeat your evil next-door neighbor. He isn't just any ol' neighbor -- this man has laser-shooting eyes, a wind tunnel in his abdomen, four arms loaded with deadly poison, and porcupine-like spikes protruding from his back. And he hasn't given you back your lawn mower you lent him a month ago! :omfg:

Not to worry! You have your trusty three weapons with you, which are:

:bulletred: A bucket of modeling clay
:bulletred: An orange
:bulletred: A broom

Using these three items, how would you take down your opponent? Be creative and tell us your heroic tale!

Either write your story as a comment to this journal or post it as a literature deviation and link it in the comments below. Any length is fine!

We'll pick three winners who will receive a one-year Premium Membership! Winners will be chosen based on inclusion of the three items, creativity, and ingenuity. All entries must be in by Tuesday, June 4th at 11:59 PM Los Angeles, CA, time.

You've finally had enough of the laser-holes in your apartment and porcupine spines in the lawn, and it's time to take on your neighbor head-to-head. What do you do? How does the battle go down?! We want to know!


© 2013 - 2024 Ayame-Kenoshi
Comments66
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
minnichi's avatar
minnichi
Okay... I've literally discovered this less than two hours before the deadline. But hey, I like writing! Hm...no pressure. Dunno where this is gonna go, but here goes! xD

--------

Teachers often recognize even their laziest students for none other than creativity. When they stop to think of how interesting that wild homework-excuse story was, for example, they realize that this kid's actually capable of coming up with some brilliant ideas. Just not at the right place, and not at the right time.

My excuse - which brought back almost as much praise for creativity as punishment, mind you - was: "My evil, wind tunnel-bellied, porcupine-backed neighbor disintegrated my homework with his eye-laser beams."

There's kind of a problem with all that praise I got, you know. Fun fact: I'm not creative at all. If I were, then I wouldn't be sitting up in my cramped, smelly apartment, grumbling grouchy gibberish under my breath like my grandma as I yank out 5 more cursed needles that got tangled into my hair. My hair itself wouldn't look like the atomic bomb of fashion disasters, with random portions of it singed short with grey, decaying patches while other portions are long, sleek black and kind of resemble what it used to look like. All my shirts wouldn't look like gangly fishnets with the amount of holes they've gathered. Finally, my homework wouldn't be a pitiful pile of ashes.

Oh, and of course: I wouldn't have an evil, eye-laser-shooting, wind tunnel-bellied, porcupine-backed neighbor if I were actually creative. Wish I could actually say that I came up with that one myself, but... Surprise, he's real!

Not that it matters to anyone else. I know you'll just see the same thing as my professors, too, if you come across me. I'm apparently that girl who annoyingly makes a point of being "unique" at school. Seriously, isn't she trying a *little* too hard with that whole patchy-hair, fishnet-shirt look? But gotta admit, she's pretty creative. Haven't you heard some of her stories?

(Sigh) Well alright, I'll tell you my darn story. I am a warrior. A survivor. A victim of the greatest crime ever to be committed against front-door lawns: the theft of a lawn mower. And nobody knows.

...Until today.

I've had enough enough hair burnt off by flying acidic poison. I've had more splinters than I can count in a lifetime. And god dangit, I want to know how it feels to wear a wholesome shirt again! I feel like a hobo - a psycho-looking one at that. And it's all thanks to my wonderful, four-armed neighbor. He's just gotta go.

He took everything from me. Slowly and gradually over the years, he reduced not only my apartment to a freakish alien of society, but me as well. I don't really remember when he moved in, only that everything started turning ugly when he did. Like how none of the squirrels and birds that used to hang around ever came back. (Some of them fell on me while I was walking to school, actually, during his target practice.) Or how more and more rain would leak into my room every time it stormed, due to the growing number of holes in the wall. And finally, my transformation into the weird-fashion-gone-horribly-wrong girl at school.

That guy does it all just to mess with me. He's pure evil.

The lawn mower was the last straw. My grass felt like the last thing I could still keep beautiful in my life, the last simple thing that I could make nice and attractive, with just a clean trim. And then porcupine-back somehow convinced another idiot neighbor of mine one day that I was okay with lending him the lawn mower.

Okay, so he can technically kill me anytime with one belly-thrust of a wind tunnel. Or just a bit of poison coming into contact with my skin. But I don't care anymore. He's going down. I want my trimmed grass back - well, and all of those other things in my life that turned ugly. Anyway, he's going down.

----

Gah, I have too much of a bad habit of rambling introductions!!! I'm out of time and the battle was just about to begin T_T But I had so much fun writing just this much...thought I might as well post it anyway, even if it doesn't count. I think I'll just finish the rest for the heck of it, it was such a good prompt. Good luck to everyone who got their entries done in time! :)